In the future we'll all be gay
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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