If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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