so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
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I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
All the doctor said was why
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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