Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
