He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
