I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
