dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
