come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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