why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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