I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have feelings that need drinking.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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