Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
