Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
