it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
