i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I will die if light touches me.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
