I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
