made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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