So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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