Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
my shit smells like andre
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
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I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
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Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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