My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
