So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
