Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm at about main and main street
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
