the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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