I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
