Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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