This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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