Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Randomize
