Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
