A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
