In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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