mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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