You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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