he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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