oh god the rape fog is back!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We are all done wearing pants today
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
