who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
