D3 body, D1 cock
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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