hell yes lets make some ravioli
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
