I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
