I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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