Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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