Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
