well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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