In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
