i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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