i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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