I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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