i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
