We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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