He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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