thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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