Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
