My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
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