Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
