The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
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I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize