..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize