happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
