wakey wakey hands off snakey
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
