it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
