Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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